Two weeks of racing in a row, this basically never happens for me and it’s honestly been very strange feeling since it comes at a time when there are some major things going on with our extended family and stress levels are high. I had registered for the race well before we had any idea of what was going on and what the implications would be. Anyhow, later today, Katie’s brother, will be undergoing some major heart surgery to in simple terms put in a pump (LVAD implant) ultimately this will be doing the work of his heart. This is hopefully just the first step in a tough road to get to a transplant that will be the more permanent solution. Which feels absolutely crazy to be saying. This is not something he’s been struggling with for years or anything. This was a fairly sudden development and the progression has been quick. From what we understand they don’t expect there to be any major surprises with today’s procedure but obviously, these things come with pretty significant risks and implications.
Katie’s brother is my age, his family size and dynamic mimic my own. It’s a situation I can’t fathom being in but his strength and grace in handling it (at least the part I get to see) has been pretty impressive. This is all also happening at such a strange time. We can’t go see him, really nobody can visit him. We can’t be at the hospital for the surgery. Even spending time down there is a little strange currently.
Unfortunately, he’s also the 2nd person of a very similar age and family dynamic in my extend family bubble to have been diagnosed and struggle with a severe and life changing medical occurrence. Just last year my step-brother (I guess would be the right term) passed away from ALS less than 2 years after being diagnosed. He was also a healthy individual about my age. It’s been eye opening and a little scary to see how quickly everything can change and it’s completely out of your hands. In this case there is a path forward, it’s a tough path and comes with a lot of unknowns but there is a way forward that can lead to a relatively “normal” life again. I just keep hoping and praying that’s the path he’s on and will find his way there. I’ve never been described as a religious person but when it comes to times like these, I’ve always felt like you have to believe there’s a plan greater than all of us.
I was told something years ago and I can’t remember by who, but it was basically that none of us are guaranteed anything so don’t take anything for granted. That’s so hard to remember sometimes but over the past few years it seems to keep ending up in my face.
For better or mostly worse I don’t talk about things like this with anyone, which also feels really strange sharing it on the interwebs but I figure it’s better to put somewhere. Having the outlet of riding my bike and emptying the tank is one of the things that keeps me sane. It feels really strange right now to get out and have fun but I do think I’m a better person for it.
Anyhow, a few thoughts and prayers always appreciated. I’ll share more about Southern Cross later in the week.
